oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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