5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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