Midget sex pt 2 tonight
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
