I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
