I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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