He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
