Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
