Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
