I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
