she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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