He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
