she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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