i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
