Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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