Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
