that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
now i know why i became what i already was.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
