You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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