How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Found your dick twin last night
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
