she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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