I feel great
I just peed on a car
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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