he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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