talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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