I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
