I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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