EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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