Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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