2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
