he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
