Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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