One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
