Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
can u get pink eye on your cock?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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