soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
