Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
i need some magic done to my vagina
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
