how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
