it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
