I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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