Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
