it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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