i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
