Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
