if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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