Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
