In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
