Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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