$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
