im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
