OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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