You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
