we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
