I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
