HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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