After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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